Wednesday, November 30, 2005

November 27 (Sunday): Today is all about the study. Firstly however I need arrange at just what time I will be visiting my parents (and Sky TV) today. Unfortunately however, after my disturbed night I only wake up at 10AM, missing Millwall's "highlights" on ITV. I phone home and arrange to turn up for 2PM. Could move or bad move?

I manage to actually pick up some study today. I have succesfully managed to download, print off and sneak every past paper of my exams home from work and that is 13 papers multiplied by three exams. My day consists of skimming over these 39 past papers, not actually attempting the papers, more just looking at them and saying "yes" or "no" to the internal question of: "would I be able to answer this question?". The papers are really varied and cover wide wide syllabuses. Some of the exams are really really nasty and to be brutally honest, I do not appear to stand a snowballs hope in hell of passing them in a few weeks time.

My revision is somewhat hindered by a movie starring Jack Lemmon and Hank Azaria called My Tuesdays With Morrie. It is actually a really good TV movie about poor old Jack Lemmon playing a character dying of cancer. Considering Lemmon died the following year, it is very possible that he wasn't actually acting very much.

Eventually I head home where I find the old man suffering from a bitter, exhibiting the deepest of throats with his flu croak. Mum does some kind of Sunday roast and this is the most food I have eaten in days.

On TV the football is Everton v Newcastle and West Ham scum v Man Utd scum. After Cahill roughs people up in the first game, West Ham then score after 52 seconds in the second game and I have to admit to finding it funny. The game bores me though, so I hop on the parents' PC to see what porn Dad may have been surfing (computer says "no").

Eventually I go home to a cold Sunday evening on my own, officially bath night. This week my car runs out of MOT and tax and I currently cannot find either document, each required for renewal of the other. Finally around 10PM I find the documents, much to my relief but it all points to and indicates that this is going to be one expensive week.

For a Sunday evening, I have plenty of gusto and I actually manage to stay awake for both episodes of Arrested Development this evening. This show is insane and it is getting insaner.

I fall asleep smiling.

November 26 (Saturday): Ouch, today I really suck. Like a good boy I head out to Asda early morn to get the weekend newspapers and some food with view to a long day's revision/study. That however don't happen.

This morning I decide that it will be pretty rocking to watch my Dig DVD. OK, that is two hours well spent I'll have to admit, this is the kind of movie that makes you realise why a person gets involved in music and to a large extent also makes you realise where you are going wrong. This movie is ten times better than Instrument, all participants in the movie may be fuck ups and dicks but at least they are not holier than thou and utterly boring with it.

Naturally after seeing the movie I want some Brian Jonestown Massacre and then my remaining Saturday morning gets wasted on them before I realise The Simple Life is on TV; which I now have some kind of unhealthy enjoyment in.

I start out the after by watching my download of the first half of the Enron movie: The Smartest Men In The Room. This supposedly is going towards my studies and revision, teaching my all about corporate tools and strategy. Does it? Yes but this is the sort of tacit knowledge/information that will see my fail my examinations and land me in prison; yes, this movie is THAT good! Well, the first half of it is, unfortunately the dick on Soulseek who was sharing it has now decided he no longer wants to share. How frustrating.

The afternoon is Millwall v Leeds, a potential war. I wimp out and do not go once more, Millwall this season for me is too expensive and too soulsapping, the team has no fight but what do you expect when it is mostly loan players and youngsters. Instead I play Pro Evolution 5 some more. Eventually Millwall fluff it and lose 1-0 to an unfortunate Ben May own goal in fucking injury time. This is typical of season 05/06. Word is however that the Birmingham reserve keeper on loan in goal has a very good game, preventing something of a hammering.

My Saturday turns out to be the stuff of loser legend, even I cannot recall what I do other than speak to Racton on MSN some.

I wake up in the early hours after falling asleep too soon. I begin watching my Breakfast With Hunter DVD for some long lost inspiration.

November 25 (Friday): Today comes with bad omens and when the client/supplier from hell phones me up for the third time this week barking down the phone at me, I just feel like holding my head in my hands. Even worse however I deal with the call in front of my work colleagues/peers and it is very embarassing as I screw up the call failing to be either assertive or aggressive, tripping over my words as the man baffles my brains with bullshit (a favourite term of John Heddle from Beaumont Seymour there; see I did learn SOMETHING from there). Even worse when the guy begins requesting to speak to my bosses (the famous people with their names on records and films) because he has worked from them X amount of years. Finally I manage to transfer the guy, feeling redfaced and harassed. I receive some much appreciated support and understanding from those around me (my work buddies), which is really great and makes me feel better. I look the company up on the internet (I "Google" them) and under the man's description of himself included in hobbies is "surfing the internet for porn". Honestly, I kid you not! However times have changed and my blogging is now somewhat more restrained and whereas once I would have put a link to this and named and shamed, now I will only tease you and leave it to you to email me and ask who the guy is/was. I now worry about him calling again requesting his money.

Today carries on and I begin to question whether it is Friday the 13th; bad call after bad call gets sent through to me, each of which I fluff (today is not a good day for me on the phone).

By the time home time turns up, I find myself running for the door. Fortunately tonight someone has arranged/lined up for a cab to take us from Ladbroke Grove to Notting Hill and soon I am on a train winging its way home to cosy Colchester. I am asleep before 10PM.

November 24 (Thursday): Tonight fucking sucked, the trains were held up in three places between Liverpool Street and Colchester (Stratford, Shenfield and Witham) and by the time I finally get home, the clock says 9.45PM. Mild yuks on the train however as some prick sat opposite me sticks his laptop basically in my lap so to annoy him foreign self I play with the GPRS/WAP on my phone regularly distorting/interferring with his laptop screen. I find much amusement in his frustration and confusion, if you can't speak the language get the fuck out of the country. For nearly three hours this evening I find myself listening to my ACCA revision CDs on my iPod and the only song I have on my iPod is the new Kanye West; this really was the worst of possible days to have only one song on my iPod. Upon arrival back in Colchester I perform the ultimate in feeling sorry for myself act: I buy chips from the chip shop. I go to the North Station Road eatery and it being a Thursday night, naturally some pissed up chavs eventually make there way into there also. I know I shouldn't feel intimidated (especially when in my long coat I look like an undertaker/door man) but still I do.

November 23 (Wednesday): The unfortunate highlights of today for me were catching the early train up to London sitting opposite a dozing Ian Mackaye lookalike and then in the evening catching the tube from Notting Hill Gate to Liverpool Street to see a young Colina (the referee) lookalike. Boy he ugly.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

November 22 (Tuesday): The highlight of my day today was when a fellow co-worker commented that my day's attire was "very The Punisher". Somedays I really do wish I was Frank Castle, that would rock.

Monday, November 21, 2005

November 21 (Monday): Today has to be the coldest day of the year so far this winter. The journey to London wasn't so bad, more the arrival to a cold office where the door was left open all weekend is the early morning sign of bad things to come.

np: Kanye West - song with Maroon 5 guy

Sunday, November 20, 2005

November 20 (Sunday): Today is a good day. Once more I wake up early, today with the plan to really really hit the books hard. I'm up and running around 8, still with vigor and a skip in my step. I start the day by heartily switching on the telly to watch the football repeat. That's not study.

I do make a positive start however by sticking MSN on "BUSY", which is half the battle when it comes to people distracting me.

np: Pavement - The Hexx

Saturday, November 19, 2005

November 19 (Saturday): This morning I wake up at 6AM. This is ridiculous, my body clock is absolutely fucked and lying in is impossible for JGRAM. Outside it looks utterly freezing and inside its not much better. I hope my heating is working now because last night, the fucker sure was not burning. A quick stab with my hand and it burns; we have heat.

Today is quite frankly. I do not have to go to work, even though I wouldn't resent it and once the day begins proper, the sun is out and the skies are other words it is beautiful. I am in really high spirits, today is about luxury and leisure.

And I must be feeling happy (or ill) when I actually walk to the Layer Road newspaper shop instead of driving (as per lazy usual). Today I should be studying but it is too good to waste on my vocation (bad choice!). For some reason this morning after ODing on BBC news I find myself watching an illegal download of the Garfield movie and I find myself completely enjoying it.

np: London Elektricity - The Strangest Secret In The World

November 18 (Dismissal anniversary/Children In Need Friday): One year on from my somewhat tense sacking and what have I learned and where have I progressed to? My time at Beaumont Seymour, how they treated me and the way they eventually shitcanned has taught me a lot about life and myself and the fact that I have managed to come through those darktimes succesfully has displayed that I am made of stronger stuff than even I had considered. My confidence that was gradually pushed down to a nub working there seems to have returned now and I currently feel on top of my game as I approach my accountancy finals riding the crest of a health kick wave. Wernham Hogg, it just might have well been.

Ironically as I move on a year from my sacking, I still get university people doing courses and papers about Blogging asking me questions about my blog and my job at Beaumont Seymour. I help them out where I can but often I feel I do not do myself any justice or favours, their questions only entail scratching the surface when really by the end of my 27 or so months at Beaumont Seymour, I had seen more than I should have done and performed acts and made decisions that were with hindsight really unhealthy for me. I don't like to think of too much, I only feel ashamed, angry and embarassed. Today I made a flippant remark on our Bad Hand forum about the place but as extreme as the content was, it came with my old disclaimer safeguard of "only joking", the words they'll probably be now be putting on my grave stone.

So how is my work today? Good. Working in London and Notting Hill is a total buzz. And even under another threat of dismissal this very day (for different reasons) I'm happy to be where I am currently (to the point that waking up at 6 in the mornings and riding trains for nearly four hours a day in total are things I now take in my stride). Despite tempers, I work with great and interesting people and I feel on par with anyone around me up here in London.

And on a dismissal note, mid morning it is reported word of mouth to me that Roy Keane leaves Manchester United. No way did he "leave", he was fucking sacked and for reasons probably pretty similar to/for my dismissal this very day last year. I text Stevo with the news, comparing myself (tongue in cheek) to Keane and Stevo responds "yeah, your ex-employers were both fucking cunts". I guess things aren't so hot back at BS after all.

My afternoon improves greatly when Phoebe emails me, suggesting that we meet up one evening next week after her BPP revision courses in Shepherd's Bush. Immediately I am euphoric but realistically she'll be getting out at four and I at six, what on earth can she do around here for two hours? We raincheck with perhaps promises for a meet up next week but if not for a definite meet up on Dec 21st. This was very pleasently out of the blue.

And this comes after Ben texts me first thing this morning calling me out to go clubbing at Gigantic tonight. I'm too old and tired for that but just as I feel/fear my social life is hanging by a string, an offer drops in on my lap. Good times.

B is in London this weekend and she mentioned a few weeks ago meeting up. I half heartedly agreed but I just know any such meet up could only ever end in tears. I'm not fishing for it.

Instead my evening consists of watching Ghostbusters and falling asleep before Peep Show comes on TV (in other words, I am gone by ten). I am exhausted, this really is not life in the fast lane. Tomorrow I will run faster.

np: Kariya - Let Me Love You For Tonight