June 29 (Thursday) – World Cup Day 21

These days are sent to test us. Last night was heavy but I don’t feel bad for it, I don’t feel hung-over or necessarily tired out for that matter. Racton on the other hand emails telling me how he is suffering and is still able to taste cheap spirits on his breath. Nice.

Today is hella chock-a-block at work. The month is all but ended and I am still plugging away with only two days remaining within which to still get a fair bit of work finished off. And I still don’t feel well with it, the people at work tell me that they think I may have tonsillitis – unlikely but I’m happy to milk it for what it is worth.

At lunchtime we head out en-mass to the world famous Mike’s Café sat opposite Hugh Grant’s travel bookshop from the Notting Hill movie (which is real life is not next to the school – the fuckers from Hollywood performed an illusion and moved it). Is it a poor show to eat gammon steak in front of Jewish people? Regardless I am bought an amazing slice of chocolate cake for desert. High times.

The day ends well as the Latitude Festival blag comes through and the word on tickets is officially “no problem”. Rejoice!

Despite the good news, by the time I arrive home I am not the happiest person in England. Are Thursdays worse than Mondays? Sometimes to me they are. Friday afternoons are melancholy and Thursdays are pretty damn too close to that for comfort. Thursdays are indeed the new Friday.

Tonight I arrive home, probably late – fucking trains! I’m not happy, I am hot, I am sweaty and there is no food in my cupboards. So this is perhaps not the most choice time for 3G Mobile to be cold calling me. At first when the phone rings I think it is a real person. Obviously its not a friend calling my landline so thoughts move towards my parents calling me at home – is something up? Is either of them ill? Is the dog OK? Instead there is a brief buzz of a call made inhumane and suddenly on the line there is some idiot from some hole in Asia mispronouncing my surname, trying to sell me a new mobile phone contract in 3G’s usual patronising and aggressive manner. What the fuck gives? 3G Mobile spam called me four times last summer, always with a sticky ending and I am registered on rather efficient TPS scheme. These calls never get off to good start when some guy sounding like a stereotype from a racist seventies sitcom goes “is Mr Grar-Ham there?”. As usual I play thick and ignorant until I make the piece of shit say me name correctly with a limited amount of respect. For my amusement I usually string these calls out for as long as possible up until the point where they begin asking for my bank details – how personal, a true violation. Tonight when I begin messing the guy about around the time he begins requesting my bank details he puts me onto his supervisor who begins to condescend me, telling me how I have agreed to a new 3G mobile and that I now need to give over my bank details as if my life depends on it. Considering I have been grunted down the phone for the past five minutes, I really don’t feel I have agreed to anything legally. I get really arsey with this guy who is more than a sheer minion, attempting to razz me with pukka English terms as if to say “see, I am one of yous, guy”. Unfortunately however when he accuses me of wasting their/his time that is like showing a red rag to a bull and out come the expletives – “me waste your time? You’re wasting my fucking time!” which gets coupled with “how fucking dare you call me up” and suddenly I am in rant mode, a rare aggressive me that rarely gets shown/seen in public. I tell him I am registered with TPS and that he really should not be calling. This fact doesn’t appear to impress him at this point so when I begin telling him to “fuck off” Mr Telesalesman Supervisor loses his cool and throws his English manners manual book out of the window and in his little Asian voice he tells ME to “fuck off”. YES! I actually pushed the guy over the edge. That’ll teach him/them to phone me. I really am a total cunt sometimes.

JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
Hi. How are you? Still in Brixton?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
currently
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
did you resolve your shift issues?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
not yet
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
is not to be resolved, its just how it is
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
still enjoying London?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
yes indeedy
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
dont you?
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I love it, we went to Walthamstow and greyhound racing on Saturday - it was fantastic!
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
ooh
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
"ooh" - how?

You have just sent a Nudge!

BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
oooh cos it was fun?
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
would you not expect it to be?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
no idea
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
have you been up to anything good?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
flat hunting
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
went to nottingham
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
for an exhibition
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
went to an ann summers party in hoxton
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
whereabouts are you flat hunting?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
zone 1+2
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:

JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
North or South?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
dunno. where we find one
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
nice strategy
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
i thought so
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
ha ha - just joking

You have just sent a Nudge!

BELLA (Love Your Monkey) just sent you a Nudge!

JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
not in the mood for chatting tonight?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
looking at flats innit
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
which websites are you looking at?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
al sorts
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
find a property and .homesandproperty.co.uk for a start
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
gumtree
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
aim for Islington, it's pretty nice in that area. also if you can snag Kentish Town area, it has all the benefits of Camden without actually being Camden
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
Rotherhithe and that area (Surrey Quays etc) is nice these days
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
and everyone still raves about Putney
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
i have preferences already
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
thanks though
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
why the bloody hell would ya wanna live in putney?
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
what are your preferences?
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
no way, Putney is really up and coming
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
so is sydenham butr its in the bloody middle of nowhere
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
E1/E2. London brige/borough. Angel. Highgate. are a few
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
Angel rules! I was there on Saturday. London Bridge/Borough is awesome but super pricey
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
have you been to Borough Market?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
yes
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
we spant 17quid on veg
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
spent
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
that area's pretty close to Rotherhithe - one stop. which in turn is close to the almighty Millwall!!!! I've got a couple of friends who live in the 'hithe and its great
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
are you at work tomorrow?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
nah, looking at flats. viewings booked
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
that's cool - whereabouts?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
erm..
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
bethnal green
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
topski, you can go see the boxing on Saturday nights - I've always wanted to go
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
or not
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
ha ha - don't knock it 'til you try it
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
any joy with finding a place around Bridge/Borough?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
not looked yet
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
keen on the East then
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
not especially
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
lol
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
did you watch Nathan Barley when it was on?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
nope
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
shame, you remind me of the guy on there from SugaRape. I bet you curled up your nose in some kind of resignation when you wrote/thought "not especially" - lol
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
hahahaha
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
man, I always take that so personally (ha ha)
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
haha
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I think you are the most difficult person in the world to impress (and at certain times, to humour)
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
and of course, it's not your fault
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
have you never thought maybe i like to be difficult
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
or maybe you are just too easily impressed/ ammused
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
definitely
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
secondly, definitely NOT!
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I just don't like to be difficult, it makes life easier
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I used to try to be purposely naive but that sucks
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
well maybe what you havent considered is that im only difficult arround you
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
on the contrary (lol) - that is exactly what I think but I just don't know why/can't work that out. I come to the conclusion that you dislike me (ha ha)
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
well if i do its not on purpose. i think you just 'rub me up the wrong way' as it were
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
no, I don't it is that
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I don't THINK it is that even
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
well since we both fail to find anny conrary reasoning im afraid thats the only option your left with
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
you're being difficult on purpose again
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
you got it
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
but why??????? (ha ha)
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
one theory is that there was somebody in your past and I remind (negatively) remind you of them
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
noone remionds me of you
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
except.. erm.. you
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
that was only one theory
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
it was a lame theory
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
shame guy
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
huh
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I thought you were into Ebonics?
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I don't suppose you ever found a copy of Vice magazine for me did you? I won a competition off their website but I'll be fucked if I could find the magazine
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
do what?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
naah
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
dunno where you'd get it.. hang on
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
i'll ask my housemate when she gets back
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
cool beans, I thank you
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
have you been watching Big Brother? my friend is going to be on the Russell Brand show as the comedian. good times
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
did you see X-Men 3?
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) winks:

Play "Knock"
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
i dont do big brother
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
my housemate is sitting next to me watching as we type
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
i did see xmen3
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
Lisa owns Big Brother
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
no idea. no interest
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
snob
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
no. i just dont like watching ashit nobodies on shit
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
tv show acting like knobs
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
not just BB. in general.
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
boho
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
inclusive ov all shit nobody tv: BB, Xfactor, Hollyoak. grr
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
boho?
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
yeah, most people and things on TV are shite
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
boho = bohemian "I hate TV"
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
there we go then
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
there is a lot of great stuff though
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
has your magazine come out yet?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
nope
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
its the following issue
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
did your friend know where to get Vice?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
gimma a chance. she's not home yet
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
oh, I thought it was the one currently sat next to you
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
in fact i'll have to let you know next time as she is at dance and wont be back till latre
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
nah, her mom#
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
German accents are the BEST!
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
do you remember an eighties pop band called Propaganda? I had to sort out the lady's royalties and she had the hottest accent, it made me blush
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
antoninas isnt that strong actually
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
and felina doesnt have one
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
i met this other german girl who works in colchester who has a german accent
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
oh really? cool
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
ever so slightly
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
where does she work in Colchester?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
TVhits
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
for some reason that rings a bell with me
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I think I knew someone that worked there (maybe Sue)
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
its a shitty teen pop magazine
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
ha ha - you totally hate everything tonight
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
not at all
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
bollocks
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
tonight is no diferent
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
you hater you
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
do you know which one i mean though?
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I have an idea
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
did you enjoy meeting up the other week?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
erm...
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
partially
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
(sorry for the blunt honesty)
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I would echo those sentiments
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
why only partially for you?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
cos you 'rub me up the wrong way'
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
in what respect?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
and to much dwelling on the past. i live in the now
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I would disagree
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
how were we dwelling on the past?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
escuse me? i know myself better than you know me
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
i wasnt. you were
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
how?
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
that is SO patronising
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
just saying it as i see it
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
and arrogant also
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
specify pleae
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
please, even (can't type)
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
youre always like 'remember when we..' and whatever
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
what else is there to talk about?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
well then dont
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
what did we talk about when first hung out? we didnt have a 'back when' to talk about
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
good point
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I guess there was more interest then
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I tried to talk about contemporary things but you just seemed uninterested and unimpressed
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
you were being "difficult"
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
hehe
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
as ever you clam up
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
only with you
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
im sure if you ask any of my other friends they would describe me as 'freindly' and 'an open book'
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
nah, just stuck up
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
fuck off
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
true
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
nope
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
sorry for the blunt honesty
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
yeah whatever
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
you are clearly deluded about your affect on other peoples moods. THIS is the reason i only partially enjoyed out meeting up
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I was bored but at least putting in effort
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
have some tact
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
im ahppy and cheerful and pleasent untill i talk to you
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
thats sad to hear
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
im not uninterested in what you have to say i just find you obnoxious and dismissiove of other peoples opinions
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
genuinely
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
isnt it better to know that i biyuld up a harsh internal resentment for you. at least if i tell you you can work on it
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I dunno, its not obnoxiousness, just a sense of humour
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
depends what your talkin about
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
the dismissive of other people's opinions is just a result of being on the other side of the coin
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
well then learn some fookin tollerance and empathy
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
internal resentment towards me? harsh words
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I don't think I have anything to work out, it is only you I seem to have such an effect on.
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
I have plenty of tolerance and empathy
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
this is interesting though
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
well ditto. but sor some reason you are unwilling to accept that you are only person i dont mesh well with
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
it works both ways
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
no no, I fully believe you and accept it but I don't understand it
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
and as you say it was never always the way
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
well then i guess we got to know each other
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
whch maybe wasnt a good thing
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
ouch
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
do you really believe that though?
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
if i grate you why do you still wanna talk to me#?
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
you said I grate you
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
well if you think im "patronising, i clam up, just stuck up
and tactless" why still talk tome?

JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
its interesting stuff (and sometimes fun)
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
it can also be excruciating
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
you are a glutton for punishment
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
sometimes
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
its all a learning process though
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
anyway..shall we leave it on that note as i have to go apply for some jobs
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
yeah, I sense I am stressing you out
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
nope
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
not in the least
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
you just bring out the brutal honestly in me. you and one other person
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
surely that is a good thing
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
i'll leave you to guess
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
bye bye
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
who's the other? I can't be arsed to guess
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
bye bye
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
someone else that gartes me
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
grates
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
oh man, you TEASE! lol
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
who is it and I promise to leave you alone to apply for jobs
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
Andrew 'ponytail' comber
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
nice
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
at least I ain't that bad
JGRAM - (NO MSN AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!!) says:
ok, good night, take care
BELLA (Love Your Monkey) says:
gotta go now as housemate is going online

January 16 (Monday)


From: Sharon Robinson [mailto:s_lrobinson@yahoo.co.uk]
Sent: 16 January 2006 15:27
To: jgram
Subject: Re: hello

Hi Jason,

It was good to meet and I'm glad that you enjoyed your tour of Borough Market. Unfortunately I must decline your invitation to meet up again as I have to admit that I recently met another guy through the website and we have really hit it off.

It has been interesting chatting to you. Best of luck with your exams.

Sharon

November 27 (Sunday): Today is all about the study. Firstly however I need arrange at just what time I will be visiting my parents (and Sky TV) today. Unfortunately however, after my disturbed night I only wake up at 10AM, missing Millwall's "highlights" on ITV. I phone home and arrange to turn up for 2PM. Could move or bad move?

I manage to actually pick up some study today. I have succesfully managed to download, print off and sneak every past paper of my exams home from work and that is 13 papers multiplied by three exams. My day consists of skimming over these 39 past papers, not actually attempting the papers, more just looking at them and saying "yes" or "no" to the internal question of: "would I be able to answer this question?". The papers are really varied and cover wide wide syllabuses. Some of the exams are really really nasty and to be brutally honest, I do not appear to stand a snowballs hope in hell of passing them in a few weeks time.

My revision is somewhat hindered by a movie starring Jack Lemmon and Hank Azaria called My Tuesdays With Morrie. It is actually a really good TV movie about poor old Jack Lemmon playing a character dying of cancer. Considering Lemmon died the following year, it is very possible that he wasn't actually acting very much.

Eventually I head home where I find the old man suffering from a bitter, exhibiting the deepest of throats with his flu croak. Mum does some kind of Sunday roast and this is the most food I have eaten in days.

On TV the football is Everton v Newcastle and West Ham scum v Man Utd scum. After Cahill roughs people up in the first game, West Ham then score after 52 seconds in the second game and I have to admit to finding it funny. The game bores me though, so I hop on the parents' PC to see what porn Dad may have been surfing (computer says "no").

Eventually I go home to a cold Sunday evening on my own, officially bath night. This week my car runs out of MOT and tax and I currently cannot find either document, each required for renewal of the other. Finally around 10PM I find the documents, much to my relief but it all points to and indicates that this is going to be one expensive week.

For a Sunday evening, I have plenty of gusto and I actually manage to stay awake for both episodes of Arrested Development this evening. This show is insane and it is getting insaner.

I fall asleep smiling.

November 26 (Saturday): Ouch, today I really suck. Like a good boy I head out to Asda early morn to get the weekend newspapers and some food with view to a long day's revision/study. That however don't happen.

This morning I decide that it will be pretty rocking to watch my Dig DVD. OK, that is two hours well spent I'll have to admit, this is the kind of movie that makes you realise why a person gets involved in music and to a large extent also makes you realise where you are going wrong. This movie is ten times better than Instrument, all participants in the movie may be fuck ups and dicks but at least they are not holier than thou and utterly boring with it.

Naturally after seeing the movie I want some Brian Jonestown Massacre and then my remaining Saturday morning gets wasted on them before I realise The Simple Life is on TV; which I now have some kind of unhealthy enjoyment in.

I start out the after by watching my download of the first half of the Enron movie: The Smartest Men In The Room. This supposedly is going towards my studies and revision, teaching my all about corporate tools and strategy. Does it? Yes but this is the sort of tacit knowledge/information that will see my fail my examinations and land me in prison; yes, this movie is THAT good! Well, the first half of it is, unfortunately the dick on Soulseek who was sharing it has now decided he no longer wants to share. How frustrating.

The afternoon is Millwall v Leeds, a potential war. I wimp out and do not go once more, Millwall this season for me is too expensive and too soulsapping, the team has no fight but what do you expect when it is mostly loan players and youngsters. Instead I play Pro Evolution 5 some more. Eventually Millwall fluff it and lose 1-0 to an unfortunate Ben May own goal in fucking injury time. This is typical of season 05/06. Word is however that the Birmingham reserve keeper on loan in goal has a very good game, preventing something of a hammering.

My Saturday turns out to be the stuff of loser legend, even I cannot recall what I do other than speak to Racton on MSN some.

I wake up in the early hours after falling asleep too soon. I begin watching my Breakfast With Hunter DVD for some long lost inspiration.

November 25 (Friday): Today comes with bad omens and when the client/supplier from hell phones me up for the third time this week barking down the phone at me, I just feel like holding my head in my hands. Even worse however I deal with the call in front of my work colleagues/peers and it is very embarassing as I screw up the call failing to be either assertive or aggressive, tripping over my words as the man baffles my brains with bullshit (a favourite term of John Heddle from Beaumont Seymour there; see I did learn SOMETHING from there). Even worse when the guy begins requesting to speak to my bosses (the famous people with their names on records and films) because he has worked from them X amount of years. Finally I manage to transfer the guy, feeling redfaced and harassed. I receive some much appreciated support and understanding from those around me (my work buddies), which is really great and makes me feel better. I look the company up on the internet (I "Google" them) and under the man's description of himself included in hobbies is "surfing the internet for porn". Honestly, I kid you not! However times have changed and my blogging is now somewhat more restrained and whereas once I would have put a link to this and named and shamed, now I will only tease you and leave it to you to email me and ask who the guy is/was. I now worry about him calling again requesting his money.

Today carries on and I begin to question whether it is Friday the 13th; bad call after bad call gets sent through to me, each of which I fluff (today is not a good day for me on the phone).

By the time home time turns up, I find myself running for the door. Fortunately tonight someone has arranged/lined up for a cab to take us from Ladbroke Grove to Notting Hill and soon I am on a train winging its way home to cosy Colchester. I am asleep before 10PM.

November 24 (Thursday): Tonight fucking sucked, the trains were held up in three places between Liverpool Street and Colchester (Stratford, Shenfield and Witham) and by the time I finally get home, the clock says 9.45PM. Mild yuks on the train however as some prick sat opposite me sticks his laptop basically in my lap so to annoy him foreign self I play with the GPRS/WAP on my phone regularly distorting/interferring with his laptop screen. I find much amusement in his frustration and confusion, if you can't speak the language get the fuck out of the country. For nearly three hours this evening I find myself listening to my ACCA revision CDs on my iPod and the only song I have on my iPod is the new Kanye West; this really was the worst of possible days to have only one song on my iPod. Upon arrival back in Colchester I perform the ultimate in feeling sorry for myself act: I buy chips from the chip shop. I go to the North Station Road eatery and it being a Thursday night, naturally some pissed up chavs eventually make there way into there also. I know I shouldn't feel intimidated (especially when in my long coat I look like an undertaker/door man) but still I do.

November 23 (Wednesday): The unfortunate highlights of today for me were catching the early train up to London sitting opposite a dozing Ian Mackaye lookalike and then in the evening catching the tube from Notting Hill Gate to Liverpool Street to see a young Colina (the referee) lookalike. Boy he ugly.

November 22 (Tuesday): The highlight of my day today was when a fellow co-worker commented that my day's attire was "very The Punisher". Somedays I really do wish I was Frank Castle, that would rock.

November 21 (Monday): Today has to be the coldest day of the year so far this winter. The journey to London wasn't so bad, more the arrival to a cold office where the door was left open all weekend is the early morning sign of bad things to come.

np: Kanye West - song with Maroon 5 guy

November 20 (Sunday): Today is a good day. Once more I wake up early, today with the plan to really really hit the books hard. I'm up and running around 8, still with vigor and a skip in my step. I start the day by heartily switching on the telly to watch the football repeat. That's not study.

I do make a positive start however by sticking MSN on "BUSY", which is half the battle when it comes to people distracting me.

np: Pavement - The Hexx

November 19 (Saturday): This morning I wake up at 6AM. This is ridiculous, my body clock is absolutely fucked and lying in is impossible for JGRAM. Outside it looks utterly freezing and inside its not much better. I hope my heating is working now because last night, the fucker sure was not burning. A quick stab with my hand and it burns; we have heat.

Today is quite frankly. I do not have to go to work, even though I wouldn't resent it and once the day begins proper, the sun is out and the skies are blue......in other words it is beautiful. I am in really high spirits, today is about luxury and leisure.

And I must be feeling happy (or ill) when I actually walk to the Layer Road newspaper shop instead of driving (as per lazy usual). Today I should be studying but it is too good to waste on my vocation (bad choice!). For some reason this morning after ODing on BBC news I find myself watching an illegal download of the Garfield movie and I find myself completely enjoying it.

np: London Elektricity - The Strangest Secret In The World

November 18 (Dismissal anniversary/Children In Need Friday): One year on from my somewhat tense sacking and what have I learned and where have I progressed to? My time at Beaumont Seymour, how they treated me and the way they eventually shitcanned has taught me a lot about life and myself and the fact that I have managed to come through those darktimes succesfully has displayed that I am made of stronger stuff than even I had considered. My confidence that was gradually pushed down to a nub working there seems to have returned now and I currently feel on top of my game as I approach my accountancy finals riding the crest of a health kick wave. Wernham Hogg, it just might have well been.

Ironically as I move on a year from my sacking, I still get university people doing courses and papers about Blogging asking me questions about my blog and my job at Beaumont Seymour. I help them out where I can but often I feel I do not do myself any justice or favours, their questions only entail scratching the surface when really by the end of my 27 or so months at Beaumont Seymour, I had seen more than I should have done and performed acts and made decisions that were with hindsight really unhealthy for me. I don't like to think of too much, I only feel ashamed, angry and embarassed. Today I made a flippant remark on our Bad Hand forum about the place but as extreme as the content was, it came with my old disclaimer safeguard of "only joking", the words they'll probably be now be putting on my grave stone.

So how is my work today? Good. Working in London and Notting Hill is a total buzz. And even under another threat of dismissal this very day (for different reasons) I'm happy to be where I am currently (to the point that waking up at 6 in the mornings and riding trains for nearly four hours a day in total are things I now take in my stride). Despite tempers, I work with great and interesting people and I feel on par with anyone around me up here in London.

And on a dismissal note, mid morning it is reported word of mouth to me that Roy Keane leaves Manchester United. No way did he "leave", he was fucking sacked and for reasons probably pretty similar to/for my dismissal this very day last year. I text Stevo with the news, comparing myself (tongue in cheek) to Keane and Stevo responds "yeah, your ex-employers were both fucking cunts". I guess things aren't so hot back at BS after all.

My afternoon improves greatly when Phoebe emails me, suggesting that we meet up one evening next week after her BPP revision courses in Shepherd's Bush. Immediately I am euphoric but realistically she'll be getting out at four and I at six, what on earth can she do around here for two hours? We raincheck with perhaps promises for a meet up next week but if not for a definite meet up on Dec 21st. This was very pleasently out of the blue.

And this comes after Ben texts me first thing this morning calling me out to go clubbing at Gigantic tonight. I'm too old and tired for that but just as I feel/fear my social life is hanging by a string, an offer drops in on my lap. Good times.

B is in London this weekend and she mentioned a few weeks ago meeting up. I half heartedly agreed but I just know any such meet up could only ever end in tears. I'm not fishing for it.

Instead my evening consists of watching Ghostbusters and falling asleep before Peep Show comes on TV (in other words, I am gone by ten). I am exhausted, this really is not life in the fast lane. Tomorrow I will run faster.

np: Kariya - Let Me Love You For Tonight